I wanted freedom so badly, and now that I have it, I do not know what to do with my life. I smile through everything because I do not know how to explain how heavy life feels lately. I am 24M, everyone thinks I am strong, but I cry every night after acting normal all day. I keep saying I am fine, but honestly I feel like I am disappearing in front of everyone. I finally have the relationship I wanted, but my heart still feels restless and scared. I moved to a new city to start over, but my old fears came with me. I am surrounded by people every day and still feel painfully alone. Maybe writing this here will help me breathe.