I smile through everything because I do not know how to explain how heavy life feels lately. I moved to a new city to start over, but my old fears came with me. I got the job I prayed for, but somehow I feel emptier than before. I am 33M, everyone thinks I am strong, but I cry every night after acting normal all day. I am surrounded by people every day and still feel painfully alone. My parents trust me so much. If they knew the truth about my life right now, everything would break. I finally have the relationship I wanted, but my heart still feels restless and scared. I have never said this out loud before.