I finally have the relationship I wanted, but my heart still feels restless and scared. I keep saying I am fine, but honestly I feel like I am disappearing in front of everyone. I am surrounded by people every day and still feel painfully alone. I wanted freedom so badly, and now that I have it, I do not know what to do with my life. Everyone calls me mature, but I am just tired and better at hiding my mess. I smile through everything because I do not know how to explain how heavy life feels lately. I do not know why I am posting this, but I need to.